Hey Pete...

This is the dictation of a voice note I recorded driving home from the wedding of a colleague and friend of almost 20 years tonight. I was talking to a friend of mine who is no longer with us. I’m posting this because, emotionally, I just feel like it’s the right thing to do. And I'm all in the feels right now.

Hey Pete.

I’ve been thinking about you a bunch lately. Our friend Riley got married today and for a split second, I caught a glimpse of someone who looked like they could have been you, only, not as tall, who was at the wedding. Our colleague and friend Dennis pointed it out to me, and, to be honest, today, you were on my mind because, well, the wedding reminded me of yours back in the day. As I was getting ready, I intentionally wore purple socks and I put on my black dog-tag necklace because, well, we both fought a few radio wars at 4002 and at 1801 separately and together, side by side, and, to be honest, I wore it in honor of you.

I’d say I wish you could have been there to see the wedding but I kinda get this sense that you were.

Had you been here, on this plane of our existence, we’d probably have found an AirBNB or we’d be at some dive bar in New Market, Maryland; or back in Frederick holding court at the bar, sharing our stories, talking shit about things, doing the stuff we used to do. I’d probably have needed to talk to you about some dad/daughter BS I’ve been dealing with and I’m sure you’d have some stuff to vent about with me. Instead, here I am driving home after having just one drink. Just one. On some back road. Talking to you.

The wedding was beautiful. The service was great, the reception was perfect. Riley has come so far since we first met her. Her mom spoke so highly of you - and the time when she became a part timer at FLZ - and Jeff was there to share some great moments from that time, too…. she’s found her someone in her personal life, Pete, and, during the service, I thought that maybe, just maybe, you would find your someone, too because seeing this part of the story happen made me think about that ‘someone’ in my own life, too. I don’t know why in this radio life we have this ‘misfit’ gene thing going on which causes us to at times make choices which could have been different or which might have led us to experience some harder things along the way because of some choices we’ve made. I know you know what I mean. But, I also know that tonight the fire of the idea that ‘everything happens for a reason’ was rekindled at some church in Fredneck because of what Riley - whom you named - and her story - did to stoke those coals.

Did you know Dennis almost knocked the entire table of water and drinks and stuff over in my direction? You would have laughed your ass off. And you'd have slapped me on the back of the head or something because I had like one drink, a bunch of water, and didn't eat anything more than a Cuban sandwich finger food, a grilled cheese finger food gimmick and some crab deal. Say it.

God I miss you. You’ve been on my mind a bunch because driving Kyla to Boston for college, I’ve passed by your hometown a few times. I’ve thought of taking the exit to get to your town to go and find you and spend some time but I also know you’d tell me to not stop for that and to keep kicking ass and playing the game. Forward momentum = TSL, right?

Tonight, I’d have picked your brain on some #GirlDad stuff. It’s not easy. It’s even harder when you have the ‘stuff’ going on in life like we do in this game which causes us to see and prioritize and react differently. I’ll figure it out but it would have been good to just blow off some steam and have a shot or two to talk about it.

Anyway I miss you man. I wish you were here. Tonight, looking around the room at some of the people who were there, I just wanted you to know that your branch of our radio family tree is as strong as ever and continues to grow and in some way I think that honors you as it’s your legacy.

I hope you are resting easy. I need to call my partner now. I think you’d approve. I know, you’ve met all of the other ones. I know. Maybe one day I’ll get this whole thing right and when I do, there will be a chair at a table that I’ll have reserved for you.

Speaking of which I need to call her now about some of this other life stuff that’s going on, so I’m gonna stop talking to myself now because if you get this audio someday you’ll broadcast it on a pirate station from on high which you’ll probably fire up over some random - or not so random - frequency.

’til the casket drops, bye. Siri, Stop recording.